I waited a while to write this story because I was waiting for a verdict and the FULL investigation to close, but I can now share the full extend of what it might seem like an episode of a TV series, but it’s actually what really happened at the boys’ nursery a while ago.
One day my husband was called into the manager’s office and asked to sit down. “I have something to discussed about B” the nursery manager said. My poor husband was already tired from a long day at work and about to have dinner with the twins without mummy. He really didn’t have time for this, but he kept listening, wondering who had B bitten that day and why it was so important today. To his enormous surprise B hadn’t bitten anyone, but apparently he had been the victim of child mistreatment. Child services were called and a full investigation was taking place. “As his parent we thought you should be aware and for your peace of mind we have suspended the member of staff involved in the incident” concluded the nursery manager. My husband’s jaw dropped inadvertently.
What really happened is that someone woke up B by splashing his face with a couple of drops of water. THAT’S ALL!
I can only imagine how B would have reacted to that and I feel I should have apologised to the staff member… sending an Italian child to an English nursery, what was I thinking?! I bet he screamed the place down!
I personally believe the nursery went a little over the top this time, but child safety do come first and I’m glad my boys are in a super safe environment.
Does having two identical things of everything really helps? This is a question that I ask myself daily! It certainly doesn’t help my wallet having to buy 2 sets of everything, but if that would mean less fights, I would happily pay the price.
A few weeks ago we bought a push along tractor for the twins. My husband thought they could share it. Within 4 hours from arrival I was already on Amazon ordering a second identical tractor. Did that help? No.
To be honest, it did help a little bit, and seen the boys on their tractors around the living room is really funny. But after 2 weeks T tried to claim both tractors at once and he hasn’t stopped since. I’m not sure why he believes B is not allowed a tractor, but if T is on one and B sits on the other, T would jump off and go to push him off it. This morning in fact he actually bit poor B!
On the other hand, if you have a drink from an orange sippy cup, your brother won’t really accept a blue one. So having two identical sippy cups is very important, if not essential for twins idration!
Other things though seems to have no importance what so ever. For example forks can have different colours, as long as the food is identical. But if one fork is metal and the other plastic… big trouble!! As a parent I found it very confusing. Cups must have the same colour, but forks don’t? What about plates then?
My twins are so different, I can’t see how they could like the same thing anyway, so I observed them closely. As I suspected they have different taste in toys. One likes Duplo, the other loves trains. One likes cooking, the other prefers watching TV. The problem is that if you are not doing anything but your brother is, bother him is a great activity… probably the best there is!
If I thought that teething was a problem because of sleepless nights, endless crying and high temperate, I was wrong. All of that was nothing compared to the biting! In the past week, my two lovely little boys transformed into little sharks and the teeth mark on my left shoulder is a constant reminder of it.
When teething started, I used it to explain most of the problems with the kids. They didn’t want to eat as much as usual? Teething. They had a particularly bad afternoon with a lot of crying? Teething. They kept on waking up in the middle of the night? Teething. One evening my husband burnt some fajatas and he tried to blame it on teething as well! Obviously not everything is related to teething, but biting definitely is and it’s the latest of my problems. If you have only one child, he may bite other kids at playgroup, but you can keep an eye on him. He will try to bite you, but you are faster and wiser than a 10 months old (or at least I hope so). He may put everything in his mouth, but that’s just normal. If you have two children close in age, the younger one may try to bite the eldest, who will be too fast to be caught. If you have twins though, you not only have two babies try to bite each other, but you also have two sharks trying to bite YOU! No amount of teething gel will save you from at least a bite or two a day.
It all started a week ago, when T came up to me for what I thought was going to be a hug. T loves cuddles, so it’s not unusual for him to climb on your lap for a cuddle while suckling. Unfortunately his intentions were very different. With a fast move, he hugged me and went for the bite on my shoulder. It wasn’t the first time one of the boys bit me, but this time it left a mark and I had to use some ice to help with the pain. T was renamed belva (the wild best in Italian) and life moved on. A few days later though, T himself came under attack when B found out that if he wants a toy, biting his brother’s hand generally gets him to drop it. The consequences up to now are two red marks on T’s face. As every good mother would do, I disguise them as mosquito bites when I’m out and about (don’t try this in England, nobody would believe you!).
The only question left is: where can I find muzzles for babies? Amazon?!
My twins are VERY different. B is small, T is very tall. B has pale skin and light brown eyes, T is dark… very dark. B is loud, T is chilled. B takes a dummy, T sucks is thumb. If there’s one thing which they have in common though, it’s biting! As most babies their age, they put everything in their mouth, but sometimes they reach a little too far.
Teething twins can be extremely difficult to handle, but they can also be hilarious. During one of the lesson for baby sign language, another mum asked me what I kept on signing to the boys. “I don’t think I fully understand it” she said. “It seems like you telling them not to eat something”. Yes, dear mum of a singleton, I am telling my twins not to eat each other!
At that point I thought that it may also be useful to learn to sign lots of other things they might want to eat or bite when they are not supposed to. Today I was left without words (or baby signs) for what B tried to eat. I picked T up from the potty and moved him to the changing table to put a clean nappy on. As soon as I turned my back, B started to crawl at the speed of light heading straight for the potty. As any mum knows, you can’t leave a baby unattended on the changing table, but can you let his twin eat a poo?? You know you have nailed parenting when you can get a nappy on one child and sit him on the floor, in the time that it takes a 9 months old to crawl 2 meters!