The disease factory

So I found out another thing that no one tells you about having kids. In the couple of years between getting pregnant and your twins turning 18 months you will spend more time in the hospital or at the GP than you have done in the pervious 30 years. To prove my point, I started to write this post while waiting for an Xray this morning.

When your GP and the pharmacy next door not only know you by name, but they can also tell the twins apart… you know you spent too much time there!

Since they turned 1, we collected an infinite number of colds, countless ear infections, a pleural inflammation (just me!), a never ending cough and the latest: a congiuntivitis. This is only in the last 2 months! I don’t think I have enough time and energy to recollect all of the previous diseases.

The funny thing is that this is normal. These are two healthy kids, not born premature, with a good diet, no underling problems or genetic issues! Technically there’s nothing wrong with them. Not the doctor or the nursery commented on how unusual this is, because it is apparently a known fact that once you have kids they will be ill most of the time (and you with them). No wonder people had 7-8 kids before antibiotics were discovered! The chances of surviving childhood must have been so slim. And this was BEFORE they invented nurseries!

I came to realise that nursery are a diseases factory and that’s why they keep B even with a fever or T with a eye infection. If the nursery didn’t accept children with a cold, a cough or conjunctivitis, they would be empty! It’s a rite of passage from infant to toddler and from toddler to preschooler. The survivors are rewarded with 13 years of education, also known as school.

It seems obvious now, when I look at young children they all have a cough or snotty noses, but when I wasn’t a parent I didn’t even notice it. When you don’t have kids you live in a parallel world where children are only smaller people, you don’t tend to pay much attention to them unless they are making a scene in the middle of the supermarket. Now children are the centre of your universe and you barely notice those young and carefree people that are around you. You tend to notice families and wonder how they found the energy to try for a second (or third) child. You notice only family cars and compare them to yours. Is there more space for a double pushchair in that Ford than in my Audi? Should I have bought that Volvo to fit a twin trike in the boot? Two seater cars, sport cars and Smart cars are now no more than obstacles on the road on your way to a play date.

The last thing you never seen or visited before is the baby products aisle in the supermarket. As muggles can’t see Diagon alley, non-parents can’t see the aisle of nappies, food pouches and bibs.

Now I’d better go and sort B out as apparently he has a fever… again!


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